Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize