There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
