First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
