Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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