you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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