I want to have your abortion
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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