My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
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dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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