This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
