I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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