Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize