I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
