There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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