Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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