he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
