is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Everclear isn't food dammit
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
