I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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