Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
