sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's shark week go big or go home
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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