Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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