im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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