That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
