My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
