Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
