I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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