Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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