Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
