It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
