Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We got so high we made milksteak
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
