We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm too high and old for this...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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