she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you win again, gameday.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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