Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
