Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
