You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
