I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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