Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
