So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
