I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
