i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need moral support for this bender
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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