Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
