Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
