rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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