No stitches, just platelets and will power
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
