So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
