No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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