I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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