normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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