I just saw a hot homeless man
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
