You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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