She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
