wrigley field is MILF paradise
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
