her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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