I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
