its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
