Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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