I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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