Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
