Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Please don't give away my fajitas
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize