Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had sex on a roof
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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