I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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