no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize