white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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