Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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