I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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