youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
