can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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