Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
