no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
