Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
