You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
