At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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