omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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