sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
