dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Randomize
