we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
